Greetings, metalheads, merchants of death, and all their accomplices! This blog has been waiting to be birthed from my cobwebbed womb for a while now and I finally felt it was time to unleash it on the world in all its fanged glory.
I am a corporate stooge by day and a gore-hungry horror writer and metal enthusiast by nightfall. Under my Kenneth Cole suit and tie is an Eyehategod shirt, hidden from the clients who note my professional phone voice and etiquette. Little do they know, that same voice is growling Skinless choruses in the shower at 8:15 AM.
This space is going to be my own heavy metal playground, and you're all invited to frolic and engage in as much horseplay as you like. While most of the posts will be my rabid praise of underappreciated bands in the world of extreme metal I also plan on having such features as:
Subjected to Brutality: Non-metal fans are strapped to surgical tables and forced to listen to metal albums selected by a crazed deviant AKA me. Their uncensored reviews will be shared with the world.
Reports of Living Death: Concert reviews, primarily focused on performances in and around the New York metropolitan area.
Torture Mister Growl: Where I will occasionally review non-metal albums as requested by sadistic readers.
I may also throw flash fiction and artwork into the mix, or whatever my deranged mind equates with entertainment on any certain day. Mainly it will be a sprawling, strongly worded love letter to heavy music. Seriously, these songs about murder and mutilation make me so giddy that it's near sociopathic. Hopefully my passion will interest devoted metal fans, or even better, ignite curiosity in those whose hearts are not yet in rhythm to relentless blastbeats.
Thank you for stepping into my dungeon of smiles and blasphemy, come back and visit often. We have pie.
Love, Mister Growl
P.S. Pie filling made from souls of the disenfranchised. Pie crust made in facilities that also process peanuts. Those with peanut allergies discouraged to feast upon our delicious soul pie.