Wednesday, November 11, 2015


A little over a third of November has dripped away now, and even though there are 50 days left in 2015, I prefer to mark the calendar by the Decibel Magazine publication schedule. That means that the end of the year is here, and the mag’s list of this year’s 40 top extreme releases will be mailed out soon to divide families and communities with arguments like: Can Deafheaven really rank higher than black metal stalwarts Leviathan or Tsjuder? Is Horrendous going to make a top 3 album EVERY YEAR? Before our worlds are torn apart with list-bickering, here’s my reflection on 2015:

Back before "Post-Ironic" was removed.

By far the project that’s my most consistent source of hope and anxiety, Hipster Massacre is scheduled to begin production sometime soon, I think? The film picked up an Executive Producer (Christopher Reynolds - also producing a project called King of the Cannibals that sounds awesome), and re-writes seemed to progress after an encouraging table reading. I deeply believe in the talent that has been assembled (Anthony Melton and Ben Franklin of Bloody Cuts, Don’t Move scribe David Scullion, and the Cloud Burst Productions team), and I’m beyond excited to see how this whole absurd, gory project unfolds.

Top 30, motherlickers!

Some great fortune this year, as the horror script written by my brother and I made it all the way to the finalist round at Scriptapalooza. That means we were voted into the top 30 of the entire competition, which was a totally unexpected achievement. We’re starting to send this out to producers and I personally think it blows even favorably-reviewed supernatural films like The Conjuring out of the water with tension and terror.

Cornelius Darski and his therapeutic serpents.

This anthology features an enormous list of talent from the horror and heavy metal communities, and all proceeds go to a good cause: Assisting with the medical bills for author Dustin LaValley and the funeral costs of the sadly departed Katherine Ludwig. I illustrated the cover for the anthology, and also contributed my ode to doom metal - and, um, skinless dogs? - in the form of a short story called “Forest of Anguish.” Hoping this will be out by the end of the year!

Satan is hella ripped.

One of my favorite short stories will be included in the newest volume of this heavy metal horror anthology. “Dead Language” features a demon accidentally summoned through someone’s anus. I wrote a song about this back when I was 19, and realized a movie called Bad Milo! came out since, which is sort of about the same thing. Hopefully my version will be far more endearing, macabre, and literary.

Skullet achievement unlocked.

Unfortunately, my thirteen-month run of handling the Unsigned Underground column at About Heavy Metal will be concluding. I appreciate the opportunity Chad Bowar game me to cover independent bands on my own terms - well, apart from using all the delicious profanity I had to save for Decibel. I discovered a ton of great music while researching for this column each month.

I finished a feature-length dark character drama called Persephone. It was the most difficult and emotionally demanding writing project I’ve ever tackled, and I’m proud of the result. Reviews have been mixed so far, but comments like this from agency readers suggest I’m on the right track: “Each of these characters can lead their own film given how interesting they are.”

I also completed a massive re-write of The Birthday Party with Scott Langer that resulted in an entirely new script called Rebirthday. It’s a sex comedy, raw friendship drama, and gory occult horror script all wrapped up in the hope that we could one day attach Ilana Glazer to star as our protagonist, a deeply flawed harbinger of chaos.

My heavy metal coloring book 130 Dead Kids is still being stitched together. I have also started compiling my short stories with the potential for a fiction collection. Meanwhile, I’m working on a few more feature screenplays, as well as a collaborative project with Kung Fu Breakfast/Jay Kantor where his striking photography will accompany one of my bleakest pieces. Always busy, never enough time, the same old bitch-fest.

No school like the old school, noobs.

My dream gig has continued to reward me with coverage of great records and dynamic personalities. Not a bad way to earn a little “bad habit” cash each month.

Decibel Issue # 125
I started the year interviewing Lord Dying after they returned from rockin’ Europe with Red Fang. I also got the inside scoop on the Hall of Fame series from Decibel mastermind Albert Mudrian. Reviews and blurbs include Judas Priest, Infamous Sinphony, Violation Wound, First Class Elite, and Dirty Mike & the Boys.

Decibel Issue #126
One of my favorite interviews was with Nick Reyes of Inferion, who is a totally honest and captivating speaker. I was also able to cover some releases from DEVOUT RCRDS, and reviewed nasty releases from Abyss and the indestructible Terrorizer.

Decibel Issue #127
Holy shit, it doesn’t get much better than this: Interviewed both Tom G. Warrior (ranked the top extreme vocalist of all-time) and legendary artist Dan Seagrave - who I would later meet at Maryland Deathfest. I also describe the impossible deepness of Antti Boman’s vocals, and cover personal-favorites Fórn (who I saw for the first time this year) and Iron Lamb.

Decibel Issue #128
I was lucky to handle the first-ever interview with False, Gilead Media’s top-notch black metal band. Relying on numerous e-mails exchanged over two weeks, it was a challenge but provided a lot of context when seeing them perform live at Saint Vitus. I also covered Bosse-de-Nage (named “Best New Noise” that month) and vintage death metal crew Devoid.

Decibel Issue #129
Another highlight was discussing the new Paradise Lost record with both Greg Mackintosh and Nick Holmes. Really wry, funny, and poignant guys. I also took a look at Canadian label PRC Music, covering an enormously underrated doom record by Show of Bedlam. I also chip in reviews of Torture Pulse, Cult Leader, and Weedeater.

Decibel Issue #130
The hits keep on comin’ with an interview with the unparalleled Matt Pike of High on Fire. While the enormous quote pasted next to his face focused on his out-there conspiracy theories, he had a lot to say about music and life in general, and was a totally humble and generous subject. I also wrote about some of my favorite sets at MDF (Ufomammut, Conan, and Napalm Death) and reviewed the new Powermad record, along with a puke-inducing double-review of Anal Vomit and Morbid Vomit.

Decibel Issue #131
I discussed real-life horror with gore enthusiasts Pissgrave (which also became my nickname for a few months), and reviewed formidable albums by The Kill and Undergang.

Decibel Issue #132
I spoke with Nag of black metal purists Tsjuder and made him laugh once! I also had an excellent conversation with Erik Wunder about Cobalt’s highly anticipated upcoming album. Reviews included Broken Flesh and the awesome Bathory-worship of Scythian.

Decibel Issue #133
A little light for this issue, but anytime you get a lead review illustrated by Mark fuckin’ Rudolph it’s a good month. I covered the debut from With the Dead, and the trad-doom stylings of Witchsorrow.

Decibel Issue #134
The mag’s celebration of Finnish heavy metal allowed me to interview the hysterical Kosonen brothers of Necropsy, who discussed their relationships to extreme music as teens and grown men. I throw in some thoughts on some of my favorite Finnish albums ever (Demilich, Skepticism, and Hooded Menace), and review Corrections House and an album I have been eager to share with many, Behold! The Monolith’s Architects of the Void.

Decibel Issue #135
This is on it’s way to the presses now, so I’m not totally sure what will make the cut. I interviewed Graveyard a few months ago, talked to the unfairly awesome Matt Harvey about the upcoming Gruesome record, and the always-controversial list of the year’s Top 40 extreme releases will be featured.

Decibel Magazine’s Top 100 Old-School Metal Albums Issue
Still waiting for it in the mail so I don’t even know the final rankings, but I covered timeless records from Angel Witch, Exciter, Satan, and Deep Purple.

Have a cigar.

I’m not too proud to engage in New Year resolutions. Several unfinished projects were noted above, and in 2016 I’d love to complete them all. Sometimes goals hinge on others for progress, but I’ll keep focusing on telling stories I care about, covering bands that inspire me to bang my head, and hopefully collaborating with some of my favorite artists and writers. Pretty solid 2015. But 2016 is the Year of the Monkey - a good omen for an Iron Monkey fan like me. Goodbye, Year of the Sheep.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014


Google search result for "heavy metal 2014."

It’s that time of year, where I face a legitimate heavy metal Sophie’s Choice and somehow narrow all of the extreme releases I’ve enjoyed this year down to 50. 2014 treated me beautifully, with my very first screenplay sale, a continuing dream gig at Decibel Magazine, my own column dedicated to independent bands at About Heavy Metal, and several other projects I’ll discuss in more detail soon. I KNOW YOU CAN’T WAIT. But for now, it’s time to celebrate the end of the year the way journalists and critics know best: LISTS.

There are a slew of truly solid albums not listed here, and honestly, my rankings have fluctuated nearly every day for the past two months since I handed in my initial Top 40 list to the editors at Decibel Magazine. I have no doubt that if I look at this list in another year or decade, hell, even another week, the rankings could shift and shuffle depending on my mood, the cereal I eat, how crowded the subway is that morning, etc. Feel free to inform me how lousy my selections are, how overrated band A is, how album B is obviously the top selection of the year, and how I’ve terribly under-represented genre C.

2014 Top 50 Metal Albums of the Year

1.   YAITW – When Life Comes to Death
2.   Horrendous – Ecdysis
3.   Drunk Dad – Ripper Killer
4.   Pallbearer – Foundations of Burden
5.   Morbus Chron – Sweven
6.   Thou – Heathen
7.   YOB – Clearing the Path to Ascend
8.   Nux Vomica – S/T
9.    Cripple Bastards – Nero in Metastasi
10.  Bastard Feast – Osculum Inflame
11.  Black Anvil – Hail Death
12.  Septicflesh – Titan
13.  Midnight – No Mercy for Mayhem
14.  Vallenfyre – Splinters
15.  Giant Squid – Minoans
16.  Coffin Dust – The Cemetery, My Kingdom
17.  Down – IV: Part Two
18.  Atriarch – An Unending Pathway
19.  The Skull – For Those Which Are Asleep
20.  Wo Fat – The Conjuring
21.  Eyehategod – S/T
22.  Sea of Bones – The Earth Wants Us Dead
23.  Trap Them – Blissfucker
24.  Incantation – Dirges of Elysium
25.  Orange Goblin – Back From the Abyss
26.  Triptykon – Melana Chasmata
27.  Anguish – Mountain
28.  Baptists – Bloodmines
29.  Tombs – Savage Gold
30.  Opeth – Pale Communion
31.  Torch Runner – Endless Nothing
32.  Couch Slut – My Life as a Woman
33.  Funerary – Starless Aeons
34.  Wild Throne – Blood Maker
35.  Mutilation Rites – Harbinger
36.  Bongripper – Miserable
37.  Gatecreeper – S/T
38.  Dead Congregation – Promulgation of the Fall
39.  The Oath – S/T
40.  Secret Cutter – S/T
41.  Cult Leader – Nothing For Us Here
42.  Godflesh – A World Lit Only by Fire
43.  At the Gates – At War with Reality
44.  Gurt – Horrendosaurus
45.  Drawers – S/T
46.  Atta – S/T
47.  The Atlas Moth – The Old Believer
48.  Vampire – S/T
49.  Agalloch – The Serpent and the Sphere
50.  1349 – Massive Cauldron of Chaos

If you haven’t checked it out yet, go buy issue #123 of Decibel Magazine, where the whole staff selects the Top 40 Extreme Albums of the Year.

You can also check out a few of my other picks for the year listed on the 2014 Heavy Metal Awards at About Heavy Metal.

Check out all the other lists popping up around this time also and feel free to send Tweets about my questionable metal taste over to @MisterGrowl.

Monday, July 7, 2014


In my element: Splattered with pig blood.

So it’s been, um, MONTHS since I last updated Mister Growl. The absence was necessary, I swear. This site was originally hatched to be little more than a portfolio of musings about extreme music and a chance to gush about my favorite albums of the day/week/month/millennium. Now that I’m able to cover great bands in Decibel Magazine each month (and with and Girls and Corpses Magazine, when time allows), this site will cover my various writing projects and absolutely reek of shameless self-promotion. But, you know, reek in a good way.

Back in February I agreed to option my screenplay The Post-Ironic Hipster Massacre with an ambitious new production company based in the UK. The script had ranked in the top 100 entries at Scriptapalooza and after discussions with the producers I agreed to re-write the script, changing the setting from Brooklyn to London. The project is still in pre-production, but with the talent currently attached I feel great about the future of my silly, bloody, satirical slasher film.

I also recently finished the rough draft of a “heavy metal coloring book” illustrated by the unfairly talented Ellie Shvaiko. Without giving too much away, it’s a gruesome version of a popular fairy tale complete with monsters, warriors, and a plague that makes buttholes explode and turn inside-out. The title: 130 Dead Kids. More on that soon.

On the screenwriting front, I am nearing completion of drafts for two horror scripts I’m co-writing with awesome collaborators. My brother and I are working together on a haunted house/possession/zombie script tentatively called Appraising the Dead. I’m obviously biased, but it absolutely blows The Conjuring and its ilk out of the water in terms of creativity and kills. I’m also collaborating with screenwriter/playwright/actor Scott Langer on an exciting new project. The Last Birthday (working title) is a story split into halves: Mr. Langer sets up an intriguing premise with gritty humor and sharp dialogue, and I tear the world apart with surreal horror and gore.

Apart from pieces in Decibel Magazine, I also have a selection of poetry lined up for the next issue of Kung-Fu Breakfast. The issue - named “Beyond the Nude” - will focus on perceptions of nudity, sexuality, and the human form. My poems are based on my experiences as a patron of exotic dance establishments, and the collection is called “Dance With a Thousand Names.”

Lots more on the way, including the possibility of a short story collection and a better-late-than-never review of Maryland Deathfest for Girls and Corpses Magazine with my inebriated and uncensored thoughts on the event. Enjoy yourselves, fellow scumbags.