2015: YEAR IN REVIEW

A little over a third of November has dripped away now, and even though there are 50 days left in 2015, I prefer to mark the calendar by the Decibel Magazine publication schedule. That means that the end of the year is here, and the mag’s list of this year’s 40 top extreme releases will be mailed out soon to divide families and communities with arguments like: Can Deafheaven really rank higher than black metal stalwarts Leviathan or Tsjuder? Is Horrendous going to make a top 3 album EVERY YEAR? Before our worlds are torn apart with list-bickering, here’s my reflection on 2015:

Back before "Post-Ironic" was removed.

HIPSTER MASSACRE

By far the project that’s my most consistent source of hope and anxiety, Hipster Massacre is scheduled to begin production sometime soon, I think? The film picked up an Executive Producer (Christopher Reynolds - also producing a project called King of the Cannibals that sounds awesome), and re-writes seemed to progress after an encouraging table reading. I deeply believe in the talent that has been assembled (Anthony Melton and Ben Franklin of Bloody Cuts, Don’t Move scribe David Scullion, and the Cloud Burst Productions team), and I’m beyond excited to see how this whole absurd, gory project unfolds.

Top 30, motherlickers!

APPRAISING THE DEAD

Some great fortune this year, as the horror script written by my brother and I made it all the way to the finalist round at Scriptapalooza. That means we were voted into the top 30 of the entire competition, which was a totally unexpected achievement. We’re starting to send this out to producers and I personally think it blows even favorably-reviewed supernatural films like The Conjuring out of the water with tension and terror.

Cornelius Darski and his therapeutic serpents.

THE HEALING MONSTERS

This anthology features an enormous list of talent from the horror and heavy metal communities, and all proceeds go to a good cause: Assisting with the medical bills for author Dustin LaValley and the funeral costs of the sadly departed Katherine Ludwig. I illustrated the cover for the anthology, and also contributed my ode to doom metal - and, um, skinless dogs? - in the form of a short story called “Forest of Anguish.” Hoping this will be out by the end of the year!

Satan is hella ripped.

DESPUMATION

One of my favorite short stories will be included in the newest volume of this heavy metal horror anthology. “Dead Language” features a demon accidentally summoned through someone’s anus. I wrote a song about this back when I was 19, and realized a movie called Bad Milo! came out since, which is sort of about the same thing. Hopefully my version will be far more endearing, macabre, and literary.

Skullet achievement unlocked.

OTHER SHIT

Unfortunately, my thirteen-month run of handling the Unsigned Underground column at About Heavy Metal will be concluding. I appreciate the opportunity Chad Bowar game me to cover independent bands on my own terms - well, apart from using all the delicious profanity I had to save for Decibel. I discovered a ton of great music while researching for this column each month.

I finished a feature-length dark character drama called Persephone. It was the most difficult and emotionally demanding writing project I’ve ever tackled, and I’m proud of the result. Reviews have been mixed so far, but comments like this from agency readers suggest I’m on the right track: “Each of these characters can lead their own film given how interesting they are.”

I also completed a massive re-write of The Birthday Party with Scott Langer that resulted in an entirely new script called Rebirthday. It’s a sex comedy, raw friendship drama, and gory occult horror script all wrapped up in the hope that we could one day attach Ilana Glazer to star as our protagonist, a deeply flawed harbinger of chaos.

My heavy metal coloring book 130 Dead Kids is still being stitched together. I have also started compiling my short stories with the potential for a fiction collection. Meanwhile, I’m working on a few more feature screenplays, as well as a collaborative project with Kung Fu Breakfast/Jay Kantor where his striking photography will accompany one of my bleakest pieces. Always busy, never enough time, the same old bitch-fest.

No school like the old school, noobs.

DECIBEL MAGAZINE

My dream gig has continued to reward me with coverage of great records and dynamic personalities. Not a bad way to earn a little “bad habit” cash each month.

Decibel Issue # 125

I started the year interviewing Lord Dying after they returned from rockin’ Europe with Red Fang. I also got the inside scoop on the Hall of Fame series from Decibel mastermind Albert Mudrian. Reviews and blurbs include Judas Priest, Infamous Sinphony, Violation Wound, First Class Elite, and Dirty Mike & the Boys.

Decibel Issue #126

One of my favorite interviews was with Nick Reyes of Inferion, who is a totally honest and captivating speaker. I was also able to cover some releases from DEVOUT RCRDS, and reviewed nasty releases from Abyss and the indestructible Terrorizer.

Decibel Issue #127

Holy shit, it doesn’t get much better than this: Interviewed both Tom G. Warrior (ranked the top extreme vocalist of all-time) and legendary artist Dan Seagrave - who I would later meet at Maryland Deathfest. I also describe the impossible deepness of Antti Boman’s vocals, and cover personal-favorites Fórn (who I saw for the first time this year) and Iron Lamb.

Decibel Issue #128

I was lucky to handle the first-ever interview with False, Gilead Media’s top-notch black metal band. Relying on numerous e-mails exchanged over two weeks, it was a challenge but provided a lot of context when seeing them perform live at Saint Vitus. I also covered Bosse-de-Nage (named “Best New Noise” that month) and vintage death metal crew Devoid.

Decibel Issue #129

Another highlight was discussing the new Paradise Lost record with both Greg Mackintosh and Nick Holmes. Really wry, funny, and poignant guys. I also took a look at Canadian label PRC Music, covering an enormously underrated doom record by Show of Bedlam. I also chip in reviews of Torture Pulse, Cult Leader, and Weedeater.

Decibel Issue #130

The hits keep on comin’ with an interview with the unparalleled Matt Pike of High on Fire. While the enormous quote pasted next to his face focused on his out-there conspiracy theories, he had a lot to say about music and life in general, and was a totally humble and generous subject. I also wrote about some of my favorite sets at MDF (Ufomammut, Conan, and Napalm Death) and reviewed the new Powermad record, along with a puke-inducing double-review of Anal Vomit and Morbid Vomit.

Decibel Issue #131

I discussed real-life horror with gore enthusiasts Pissgrave (which also became my nickname for a few months), and reviewed formidable albums by The Kill and Undergang.

Decibel Issue #132

I spoke with Nag of black metal purists Tsjuder and made him laugh once! I also had an excellent conversation with Erik Wunder about Cobalt’s highly anticipated upcoming album. Reviews included Broken Flesh and the awesome Bathory-worship of Scythian.

Decibel Issue #133

A little light for this issue, but anytime you get a lead review illustrated by Mark fuckin’ Rudolph it’s a good month. I covered the debut from With the Dead, and the trad-doom stylings of Witchsorrow.

Decibel Issue #134

The mag’s celebration of Finnish heavy metal allowed me to interview the hysterical Kosonen brothers of Necropsy, who discussed their relationships to extreme music as teens and grown men. I throw in some thoughts on some of my favorite Finnish albums ever (Demilich, Skepticism, and Hooded Menace), and review Corrections House and an album I have been eager to share with many, Behold! The Monolith’s Architects of the Void.

Decibel Issue #135

This is on it’s way to the presses now, so I’m not totally sure what will make the cut. I interviewed Graveyard a few months ago, talked to the unfairly awesome Matt Harvey about the upcoming Gruesome record, and the always-controversial list of the year’s Top 40 extreme releases will be featured.

Decibel Magazine’s Top 100 Old-School Metal Albums Issue

Still waiting for it in the mail so I don’t even know the final rankings, but I covered timeless records from Angel Witch, Exciter, Satan, and Deep Purple.

Have a cigar.

IN CONCLUSION

I’m not too proud to engage in New Year resolutions. Several unfinished projects were noted above, and in 2016 I’d love to complete them all. Sometimes goals hinge on others for progress, but I’ll keep focusing on telling stories I care about, covering bands that inspire me to bang my head, and hopefully collaborating with some of my favorite artists and writers. Pretty solid 2015. But 2016 is the Year of the Monkey - a good omen for an Iron Monkey fan like me. Goodbye, Year of the Sheep.

READ MY SHIT: DECIBEL ISSUE #111

Hey, strangers. It’s the time of year where respected publications release their annual lists of top albums, and the fiendish scavengers of the interwebz nibble them apart. The arguments are part of the fun, so be sure to pick up this issue listing Decibel Magazine’s Top 40 Extreme Albums of 2013. No spoilers here, but I’ll be sharing my own personal list of the year’s top albums this week. There’s also an amazing piece on the legendary King Diamond, a Hall of Fame introduction for Integrity, and an exclusive Toxic Holocaust flexi-disc for subscribers. Here’s what I contributed to the issue:

Page 26: Mortal Decay - The Blueprint for Blood Splatter profile. What a cool group of dudes. Joe Gordon was my main contact, but the members chipped in to give me great insight into their creative process and the time commitments necessary for working-class guys to have a successful death metal band. I have a ton of respect for this band, and their album is exceptionally brutal.

Page 84: Hail of Bullets - III: The Rommel Chronicles review. Solid album for fans of Dissection and especially Bolt Thrower. It’s a concept album about one of Hitler’s field generals, and I suggest you not only listen to this album, but also read up on Rommel, because his tragic story is fascinating. My first draft included the tagline “How’d you Nazi this concept album coming?” I was justifiably asked by an editor if it was intentionally retarded. I have since learned my lesson regarding puns. I gave it 7/10.

Pages 43, 44, and 46: Top 5 Lists. Just a few silly lists lining the pages, including “Top 5 Substances Staining my Battle Vest in 2013,” “Top 5 Athlete Nicknames that could be Stoner Bands,” and “Top 5 Press Releases Genres of 2013.”

I have a couple more pieces in next month’s issue, so more on that in a few weeks. This issue should be on shelves now if you’re still one of those weirdos who ventures into the real world to buy things. Just order stuff online like the rest of us Morlocks.

Go over here to subscribe to Decibel Magazine. At $29.95 for a whole year this is one of the biggest bargains out there. The editors and writing staff are fantastic, and the design is sleek and filled with trippy illustrations. Definitely worth your money:  http://store.decibelmagazine.com/collections/subscriptions-renewals

CONCERT REVIEW: CARCASS and IMMOLATION

Carcass

Saint Vitus in Brooklyn, a venue perhaps too cozy (despite being the headquarters of the New York metal scene) for titans like Carcass and Immolation. The tickets sold-out in less than ten minutes, and thanks to my buddy Ellie (whose Noothgrush back patch made her the belle o’ the ball), I was able to snag a ticket. After getting a new drink special (Storming the Castle: One Newcastle pint and a shot of Jameson Black) I perched at the front of the stage like a gargoyle.

I saw Immolation play at the Decibel Magazine Tour this past summer, but they treated the crowd to several new songs off their upcoming album, as well as “God Complex,” which they played live for the first time. Ross Dolan (vocals/bass) pre-emptively apologized in case they “fucked up.” Fucked up they didn’t. It took half a song for drummer Steve Shalaty to warm up, but once he got locked in the whole band worked together like an efficient killing machine.

Despite their fantastic performance playing song from their whole discography (though understandably leaning on Kingdom of Conspiracy), the crowd was a bit mild, except for one very vocal audience member claiming to be a fan from the “old days.” Dolan sized him up and replied, “You were born after we recorded our demo.” Closing with a new track called “All That Awaits Us,” Immolation’s new material sounds amazing, with even more drastic tempo shifts and dangerous groove mixed with their signature technicality.

Immolation

A brief intermission where I refuse to leave my spot, enjoying Slaughter of the Soul playing over the Saint Vitus speakers. I eat an obscene number of gummy dinosaurs. Then: Carcass.

“So Williamsburg, I remember when you were just called Brooklyn,” quips Jeff Walker, snarling frontman/bassist of Carcass.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Walker in the past month for Girls and Corpses Magazine, an article which will be included in their Winter Issue. Walker continued his playful antagonization of the audience by inquiring, “Are the guys from MetalSucks here?” After silence from the crowd: “Didn’t think so. They’re a bunch of poseurs.” Unfortunately he didn’t ask if Decibel Magazine staff was present, or I would have humiliated myself by raising my hand silently like I was in social studies class.

While Walker was having a blast skewering the crowd with barbed words, Bill Steer (lead guitar) was caught between smirking and grinning the whole night. Along with new members Ben Ash (guitar) and Daniel Wilding (drums), they raged through songs from Reek of Putrefaction to Surgical Steel, insisting with a smile they’re playing new stuff because their record label was present. “Wait ten years, and you’ll be calling that a classic,” Walker said after completing their most recent single, “Captive Bolt Pistol.” Kicking out greasy death’n’roll and goregrind in equal measure, the crowd barely had enough room to headbang or mosh without causing constant concussions, but what’s a little brain bruising when it’s CARCASS? Playing with a slideshow of penises plagued by venereal diseases in the background, the band members seemed to have as much fun as the crowd.

“Our last song is off the album you love to hate,” promised Walker. The song: “Keep on Rotting in the Free World” off of Swansong. That track was my first introduction to Carcass, which I heard on an Earache Records sampler when I was in junior high. I discuss this more in my Girls and Corpses piece, but my fondness for that song is undying, and it was an entirely appropriate way to end the evening. Here's the Carcass set list for the night:

Pro tip: Click to enlarge.

While Carcass are only making a few brief stops here in the states, Walker promised a “proper tour” in the Spring. That’s enough notice, so save your pennies, gorehounds.

In the meantime, buy Surgical Steel and support the return of this legendary band. While you’re at it, pick up Kingdom of Conspiracy too. Both of these albums are on my current top 40 list for the year, and come highly recommended.

Surgical Steel can be purchased from Nuclear Blast Records here: http://www.nuclearblast.de/en/label/music/band/discography/details/3075960.3025043.surgical-steel.html

And Immolation’s most recent album is waiting to punch your cerebellum here:

http://www.nuclearblast.de/en/label/music/band/about/71092.immolation.html 

DECIBEL MAGAZINE: ISSUE #109

G’morning, brainiacs. After a brief shipping delay due to damaged Godflesh Flexi-disks, issue #109 of Decibel Magazine is out on shelves. It’s another great chapter, with an entertaining Call & Response column with Ghoul’s Digestor as well as features covering Skeletonwitch, Doomriders (whose new album I review), and Morbid Angel. Here are the pieces I wrote for the magazine this time around:

Page 26: Ulcerate - Vermis profile. I exchanged e-mails with Jamie Saint Merat, founding drummer of New Zealand’s extreme metal conquerors Ulcerate. We discussed tyranny, Latin translations, and how his geographic isolation has impacted their music. Although it didn’t make the profile, he was also refreshingly honest about how their band name doesn’t seem to capture the sound they’ve developed since their high school days of gore metal.

Page 86: Blood Red Throne - Blood Red Throne review. I really enjoyed this Norwegian death metal album, even if the score seems unspectacular. It was a lot of fun, leading me to quip about Richard Simmons and my childhood dream of being a seven-foot tall baseball player. I recommend this album to those who embrace the less technical side of death metal and don’t mind flashes of metalcore. I gave it 7/10.

Page 88: Doomriders - Grand Blood review. I dig these guys from Beantown, and proudly wear one of their shirts often (let’s face it, their Grim Reaper “D” logo can brawl with anyone else’s logo and win a heavyweight belt). I handed this review to Decibel a week before seeing them play with Red Fang, and after hearing the songs performed live I likely would have changed this score to an 8. That’s not entirely fair, since the album should stand on its own --which it solidly does-- but sometimes songs don’t make as much sense until you see them screamed in person, or accompanied by the synchronized headbanging of a front-row of Brooklynites. I also gave this 7/10.

I have three more pieces in next month’s issue, so more on that in a few weeks. This ssue should be on shelves now if you’re still one of those weirdos who ventures into the world and stores and stuff to buy things. Just order stuff online like the rest of us Morlocks.

Go over here to subscribe to Decibel Magazine. At $29.95 for a whole year this is one of the biggest bargains out there. The writing staff is fantastic, the editors are awesome, and the design is sleek and filled with trippy illustrations. Definitely worth your money:  http://store.decibelmagazine.com/collections/subscriptions-renewals

DECIBEL MAGAZINE: ISSUE #107

Howdy, outlaws. Just received my subscriber copy of Decibel Magazine and wanted to list my articles in this fine issue. Awesome to see Erik Danielsson of Watain on the cover; briefly met him over at Duff’s Bar in Brooklyn for a listening party of The Wild Hunt. Here are the three pieces I had in this issue:

Page 16: The 2013 Decibel Magazine Tour review. While I wasn’t able to meet EIC Albert Mudrian at the show I did witness him share the stage with Napalm Death. Upon hearing this he offered me an article reviewing the Brooklyn stop of the tour. As I state in the opening line, if I knew before-hand I’d be covering the show I wouldn’t have drank so much, and maybe wouldn’t have been so obsessed with hair.

Page 34: Ramming Speed - Doomed to Destroy, Destined to Die profile. Even though the band’s van broke down just a few hours before the interview, drummer Jonah Livingston was still one of the coolest, friendliest guys I’ve had the pleasure of profiling for the magazine. I caught their show a week after the interview at Saint Vitus with Valient Thorr and Gypsyhawk and they totally rip. The album’s in my top 5 of the year right now. So, so good.

Page 88: Lord Dying - Summon the Faithless review. A totally solid debut album from this Portland, OR band. Tough, muscular metal with a definite High on Fire vibe. I had a few minor criticisms but gave it a 7/10. They are touring with Howl right now and I could see them being great live. Looking forward to future albums by these guys.

Next month’s issue only has one review from me, but that means I actually get to read the issue without having cardiac arrest while searching for typos in my articles. Issue should be on shelves late next week if you’re still one of those weirdos who ventures into the world and stores and stuff to buy things. Just order stuff online like the rest of us Morlocks.

Go over here to subscribe to Decibel Magazine. At $29.95 for a whole year this is one of the biggest bargains out there. The writing staff is fantastic, the editors are awesome, and the design is sleek and filled with trippy illustrations. Definitely worth your money:  http://store.decibelmagazine.com/collections/subscriptions-renewals