Continuing our series of metal reviews by non-metal fans, Mister
 Growl welcomes another guest reviewer into our unholy flock: Shane 
Frasier, Acquired Taste Booking owner and creator of the Behemoth Music 
Festival, a series of concerts in Upstate New York that recently reached
 down into Brooklyn. He has also been a member of roughly seven thousand
 bands, ranging from hardcore punk (Daytime Soiree) to electronic/dance 
music (Mr. Owl) to eccentric insanity (The Lanky Mofos and The 
Bumblebees). He was nice enough to accept our invitation and review one 
of the several 2012 releases from Coffins, their March of Despair EP:
“Full disclosure: I know nothing about metal.
Well,
 that's not entirely true. I like metal, but there's no way I'd proclaim
 myself an aficionado of the genre. It was, for lack of a better word, 
forced on me at a young age by my older brother. Bands like Cradle of 
Filth and Slayer paved the way to others like Emperor and Skinless. Not 
that I minded, but it was quite a culture shock to me when bands like 
The Clash were my main musical staple. Bearing that in mind, my 
understanding of the genre has blossomed into something more 
appreciative now, but I’m not entirely convinced. I say this so I don't 
come across as a complete idiot whilst I review a EP from a Japanese 
band called Coffins.
The five song album titled March of Despair,
 opens up with the track “Till Dawn of the Doomsday,” which, honestly, 
didn't quench the punch in the face opening track thirst I needed to 
really get into this album. It's a solid track, full of enough trudging 
guitar riffs and breakdowns to make me throw down at my desk chair, but 
it stalls in the beginning, which, in my humble musical opinion, is not 
the beginning of a great song. I know metal is about momentum, but when 
it’s forced on you early in the track, it can create an incomplete 
feeling to the rest of the track.
The
 songs “Carpet of Bones” and “In Bloody Sewage” remain my favorites, 
maybe because I myself own an actual carpet of bones and I have a 
fixation towards bloody sewage. These two tracks feel more refined than 
the others, if maybe not altogether more free form. While I liked these 
two songs, they created a bigger problem for me overall as I found all 
the songs on the album to have different production values. I could be 
going deaf, the end result of the hundred or more shows I've gone to in 
the last couple years where I haven't worn ear plugs, but I got the 
distinct notion these songs were all leveled differently, which can 
create a problematic listening experience if you’re a fan of audio 
consistency.
The
 other two tracks, “Grotesque Messiah” and “Corpsegrinder,” didn't hit 
me the way I wanted them to. “Grotesque Messiah” feels sloppy, and yeah,
 I know, I'm listening to a death metal band, sloppiness is appreciated 
in this genre, right? But considering the other songs on the album felt 
tight, this song in particular bugged me in a way no other song since 
“Mambo Number 5” has (THE TRUMPET!). And “Corpsegrinder” just doesn't 
feel like much of a song to me. That's a very vague review of it, but if
 you listen to it, maybe you'll agree.
Overall,
 I'm a bit torn. Like the 80's song, but in reverse, Japan is big with 
me, and I often go out of my way to either listen to music from Japan or
 at least appreciate their take on the punk and metal genres. But I 
couldn't help feeling this was more of a faux version of what death 
metal is supposed to be, the culmination of one band’s attempt to 
replicate bands that they've loved, but couldn't fully execute 
musically. If you have a half hour to spare, and just feel like giving 
something a try, March of Despair is as least worth a listen, if not completely unforgettable.”
- Shane Frasier
(Editor’s
 Note: “Corpsegrinder” is a cover of a song off Death’s second demo 
tape. Just a little pop-up trivia for the diehards. - MG)
Many
 thanks to Shane for sharing his thoughts! He introduced himself with 
modesty but he did actually suggest Black Cobra and Withered when 
deciding what album to review. That’s pretty obscure knowledge for 
someone who knows “nothing about metal.” Check out Coffins on Spotify, 
they have several albums available, and their upcoming album The Fleshland is due out July 9th.
Pre-order The Fleshland here: http://coffins.bandcamp.com/album/the-fleshland
 

 
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