Editor:
So this is the first guest review from a non-metal fan, an occurrence I
hope to make a bi-weekly staple. One of the reasons I created this site
was to share heavy metal with a wider, reluctant (or maybe even
suspicious) audience. I could have easily assigned a more approachable
record (think: Baroness, Anciients, Mastodon), but our first guest
writer encouraged me to give him something challenging and relentless. Jude Gullie
is a corporate stooge, medicine man, John Candy connoisseur, and
extremely talented chef. He was a vital part of the now-defunct folk
crooners The Holy Crows and was one-third of the vaudevillian
performance team The Broken Banjo Boys. Here is Jude’s take on A Caress
of the Void, the latest album from New Jersey funeral doomsters Evoken. -
MG
GUEST REVIEWER: JUDE GULLIE
When
I heard that Mr. Growl wanted non-Metal fans to review albums for his
blog I jumped at the opportunity. I had been wanting to listen to some
Metal ever since I had the pleasure of watching a gentleman (who was
listening to what I believe was metal) violently air-drumming next to me
on the L train. Why should that guy be having all the fun?
My first assignment was to review the “Funeral Doom” band Evoken’s A Caress of the Void.
I had never heard of “Funeral Doom” prior to this experience, but I
will say that it piqued my interest. If I have ever talked with you
more than a few minutes you would probably know that I have a morbid
fascination with the character of Pallbearer from 1980s and 1990s WWF
fame. (Editor’s Note: R.I.P - MG)
I was really hoping that the music might invoke images of that fat man
with white caked on makeup holding an urn. I was sorely mistaken.
I
don’t know if it gets easier to understand this kind of music if you
listen to it often, but I spent the majority of this album (all the
parts with vocals) with my hand to my ear like an elderly man trying to
listen to the soup specials being listed at a Friendly’s Restaurant. I
could understand words like “me” and I think I heard the phrase
“delicious skittles” at one point, but I wouldn’t put money on my being
correct.
The
more I listened to the album the more the mental image of the lead
singer burping into a microphone while trying to form words popped into
my head. That is how this type of music is made, right?
By
around the fifth song “Descend the Lifeless Womb” I felt like I was in
the groove of listening to the album, but the next song was thirteen
minutes long! I found myself getting distracted and watching an “Easter
Toys” ad on the side of the Grooveshark website. I did end up listening
to the whole album, but I would say that I was not swayed to start
listening to more metal.
Editor:
NOOOOO! We were one 13 minute doom opus away from claiming the soul of
another non-metal fan! Here’s hoping Jude will sign on for another
review in the future. Maybe a grindcore album with 15 songs in 13
minutes is more his (hyper)speed? Thanks again to Jude for
participating and being a good sport. Next time we will capture your
soul and keep it in Paul Bearer’s urn for eternity.
Form your own opinion by finding Evoken on Spotify and learn more about them at their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/evokendoom
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