READ MY SHIT: DECIBEL MAGAZINE ISSUE #112

Hey, strangers! Decibel Magazine issue #112 has been out for a few weeks, and #113 will ship out to subscribers in 7-10 days. All you really need to know is this: LEMMY. J. Bennett does an amazing feature on the iconic frontman, and learns us all something important about blueberries -- there is such a thing as too many. Along with the “20 Most Anticipated Albums of 2014,” a Hall of Fame piece on Opeth’s Blackwater Park, and a great “Call & Response” from Mogwai vocalist Stuart Braithewaite. After all that, I have a few pieces in there cluttering the pages as well:

Page 32: Satan’s Wrath - Aeon’s of Satan’s Reign profile. Stamos and Danazaglou gave me awesomely intense answers in an interview that skewered modern metal, ultra-serious metal minions, and flip-flops. The album’s fun as hell, even though it’s “the same shit” as Galloping Blasphemy, according to Danazaglou.

Page 83: Grave - Morbid Ascent review. An EP for completists, it still has some great, filthy death metal. Sliced off a few points for a mediocre cover of Satyricon’s “Possessed,” but overall this should fulfill the blood lust of rabid fans of the Swedish death merchants.  I gave it 8/10.

Page 83: Great Falls - Accidents Grotesque review. A challenging, noisy, and ultimately invigorating release. If you like Dillinger Escape Plan and Jesus Lizard, give this menace a shot. Plus, Decibel scribe Shane Mehling plays bass, and he runs the crucial “Needle Exchange” column, making it a mandatory feature in each issue. I gave it 7/10.

Go over here to subscribe to Decibel Magazine. At $29.95 for a whole year this is one of the biggest bargains out there. The editors and writing staff are fantastic, and the design is sleek and filled with trippy illustrations. Definitely worth your money:  http://store.decibelmagazine.com/collections/subscriptions-renewals

GUEST REVIEW: MAMMOTH GRINDER - UNDERWORLDS

Continuing our series of metal reviews by non-metal fans, Mister Growl welcomes back guest reviewer Shane Frasier, manager of Acquired Taste Bookings and creator of the Behemoth Music Festival (a series of concerts in Upstate New York that recently reached down into Brooklyn). He has also been a member of roughly seven thousand bands, ranging from hardcore punk (Daytime Soiree) to electronic/dance music (Mr. Owl) to eccentric insanity (The Lanky Mofos and The Bumblebees). He was nice enough to accept our invitation and review the new Mammoth Grinder album, Underworlds:

“You don't need much of an active imagination to guess what kind of music Mammoth Grinder is. It'd be funny, and yes, kind of unique, for them to be a jazz quartet, but no, these guys play a thrashy version of hardcore that demands you to throw down in a pit. But fitting the bill name-wise doesn't save one from ridicule, especially in the music world. Thankfully, I have little to gripe about with their new album, Underworlds.

Mammoth Grinder is fast-paced and destructive, but they stay just out of reach of the term “brutal” to save them from being bogged down by such associations. It's the kind of music I feel a psychopath would listen to to get pumped about hunting down some moronic teens in a horror film. While it mainly stays grounded in its fast-paced hardcore roots, it does try to stray often enough to not warrant it being considered bland.

"Wraparound Eyes" and "Paragon Pusher" really emphasize what these guys are trying to do here, sporting quick beats, growling vocals, and thrash-induced riffs that never overstay their welcome (but how could they at under 3 minutes anyways?). The guitar work on these songs takes center stage, with harmonizing parts that effortlessly blend together to create a wall of cacophony so great that I'm sure somewhere, in the vast ruins of space, some universe has been torn apart.

"Barricades" and "Roperide" work at a breakdown-like pace, chugging through with a sense of dread. They feel slightly metallic in their approach, but don't stay true to their tropes. "Barricades" really takes the cake out of these two, mainly because it’s so damn catchy. I've often found it's hard to make slower paced songs more memorable, mainly because, in these genres, they're more focused on being destructive more than anything. It’s nice to be reminded there are exceptions to the rule.

"Born In A Bag" and "Breeding" bring back the speed, displaying a punk attitude in the songs. I know, thrash and hardcore are pretty close siblings to punk in the music world, but really getting them to fit together is hard work. Others like "Moral Crux" deviate from the prominent fast-paced setting, relying on its intensity and slow-paced doom to instill wonder in the audience.

Underworlds is very solid, and while nothing is really different from anything I've heard before, it doesn't matter. Mammoth Grinder has set up an album that never finds a middle ground, opting to either go fast or slow. That black or white mentality might be a turn off to some people, but that's what kept me going with it. I’ve always wanted a variety of tempos and genre influences in each song, but for some reason, Mammoth Grinder wooed me away from that mentality. It's about time someone did.”

- Shane Frasier

(Editor’s note: This album is in my list of top albums for the year. I will be releasing a Top 50 list in December. - Mister Growl)

Many thanks to Shane for covering this release, and we seem to have some momentum with THREE positive guest reviews in a row from Mister Frasier. Note to self: Send Shane all crusty grind/punk/hardcore/d-beat releases we need reviewed.

Stream Underworlds over here at Bandcamp and buy it for a well-spent $6.66:  http://mammothgrinder.bandcamp.com/

GUEST REVIEW: NAILS - ABANDON ALL LIFE

Continuing our series of metal reviews by non-metal fans, Mister Growl welcomes back guest reviewer Shane Frasier, Acquired Taste Booking owner and creator of the Behemoth Music Festival (a series of concerts in Upstate New York that recently reached down into Brooklyn). He has also been a member of roughly seven thousand bands, ranging from hardcore punk (Daytime Soiree) to electronic/dance music (Mr. Owl) to eccentric insanity (The Lanky Mofos and The Bumblebees). He was nice enough to accept our invitation and review Nails’ newest album Abandon All Life:

“Every now and then, I need a reminder that life isn't so boring. That something out there, maybe lurking in the shadows, is ready to kick my ass and give me a much needed wake up call. I think I may have found that special something with Nails’ album, Abandon All Life.

Nails combine their love for death metal and grindcore to make a sound I'd liken to a bunch of cannons going off. A bunch of really angry cannons being fired off by a really angry singer. With "Tyrant" and "Abandon All Life,” these guys are able to express everything and anything they need to in only a minute’s time, creating just enough havoc to ensure we don't die from its brutality. "No Surrender" continues this trend of ear-numbing madness, double bass-pedaling itself into your heart with a relentless barrage of metal and fear.

“Wide Open Wound,” which plays more like a traditional death metal song, never succumbs to its similarities, giving me a deeper sense of appreciation of Nails. It's easy to get lost among all the similarities bands possess today, although I believe it is less prevalent in the metal world, but it's nice to know these guys don't play to be like everyone else.

“Suum Cuique,” which clocks in at over 5 minutes (Whhhhhaaaatttt?), proves these guys could become an epic doom metal band at any moment. That's a testament to how much work these guys put into their sound, which, for some, may not be as noticeable as it was to me.

When I told Mr. Growl that I'd like to review something 'brutal' he sent me this. And, uh, yeah, I'd say that's an understatement. Nails are quick and relentless, like a tornado of fists to the face. The album is over before you know it, even with a song like "Suum Cuique" to end the album. If you feel the need to have your bland world rocked, I'd recommend listening to Abandon All Life today.

(Editor’s note: I would have opted for a “sharknado” of fists and dorsal fins.)

Many thanks to Shane for covering this release, and we seem to have some momentum with TWO positive guest reviews in a row. Note to self: Send Shane all crusty grind/d-beat releases we need reviewed.

Stream Abandon All Life over here at Bandcamp and buy it for a well-spent $7.99:  http://nailssl.bandcamp.com/releases

RIP: JEFF HANNEMAN

The first Slayer album I heard was Undisputed Attitude, and now as I think of my relationship with Jeff Hanneman’s music it was really the perfect introduction. Mostly a collection of punk covers, there are also two songs from Hanneman’s previous band Pap Smear. To this day, only Reign In Blood holds more appeal to me in the entire Slayer canon, because more than anything, it shows insight into what the members of Slayer are like as passionate fans of music. It’s the sort of selfish release that I personally love: An album that highly values nostalgia and aims to please nobody more than the guys in the recording studio. While I played drums and mediocre vocals for a variety of musical projects, my relationship with music has always been a 90/10 fan/musician split. While idolizing musicians of Hanneman’s stature it’s easy to lose sight of the details that make them human. Listening to him passionately shred Minor Threat and D.R.I. songs that inspired him as a young jersey-wearing guitarist connects with me more than any music video of the band playing in a blood-spattered room ever has. The metal world is full of larger-than-life personalities and talents of near-mythic proportions, but the actual human stories have always been more interesting to me. Jeff’s story is undeniably tragic, but his impact on rock music dwarfs the terrible reality of his death. I hope everyone remembers that they are honoring the memory of a man, not just a guitarist.

The members of Bison B.C. may have said it best recently: “Hell awaits, brother.”

REVIEW: THE GREAT KAT - EXTREME GUITAR SHRED DVD

The Great Kat is one of the most interactive personalities in heavy music, updating all of her accounts personally to communicate with fans and even mailing autographed specialty photographs celebrating holidays (like this weekend’s fitting crucifixion pose on a blood-splattered cross). She has released several DVDs with music videos and live performances, and “Extreme Guitar Shred” is a collection of six performances with blood, blasphemy, studded bras, and, above all else, shredding.

While the production quality spans from cinematic (like the lurid black and white of “Torture Chamber”) to deranged public access video (“Zapateado”), there is a very Tromatic vibe to the proceedings. For those who aren’t hip to the kings of independent shlock, Troma Entertainment is responsible for The Toxic Avenger and a filmography of splat-stick cult films that wallow gleefully in filth. “Extreme Guitar Shred” carries the same energy as an early John Waters film, where offensiveness approaches tastelessness, and every taboo is celebrated with a guitar solo.

“Torture Chamber” is the first of several songs featuring The Great Kat in dominatrix mode, and the slick video shows her sadistic assaults on her legions of male slaves. If I learned anything from this DVD it’s that being a slave to the Great Kat is not a particularly great gig for someone hoping to live into old age. Her followers are beaten, whipped, forced to eat like dogs from bowls, boiled alive, attacked with massive drill bits, and eventually executed with the same expression of frozen shred-rage the Great Kat has perfected through the years. “Castration” and “Dominatrix” feature similar imagery, though the former includes the best gore, complete with a censored, severed mushroom tip. These three videos, along with her live performance from a Chicago concert, should be watched rabidly by the fans that worship the Great Kat. Not only does she rain fiery words of degradation down on her servants, but she also dispatches her victims with blood slick on her face, fret-burning fingers, and cleavage. These are moments of pure heavy metal excess that, for a dedicated fan of the Great Kat, will be their raison d’être.

The only video I actually feel compelled to warn viewers of is “War.” While the piece matches the “Zapateado” video’s guerilla production value there are also many images and clips of Holocaust devastation and 9/11 footage that may upset some people. While I generally roll my eyes at trigger warnings I feel like this may be the place to say “there are actual corpses on screen.” Even mentioning this may increase appeal to the mondo gorehounds and Faces of Death junkies who seek that sort of stuff out.

While the total running time is modest (13 minutes, not including the special features)I think this is essential for the fans who say they worship their Classical-Shred Messiah. While the outlandish, nightmarish images may distract from the music there’s no denying that when the Great Kat’s fingers spray blood due to her insane speeds on this DVD it is only barely fictionalized. This collection of videos captures the grimy underbelly of heavy metal that intends to shock and alarm, and has a helluva time doing it.

“Extreme Guitar Shred” is now Available on Amazon Instant Video here:

http://www.amazon.com/Great-Kat-Extreme-Guitar-Shred/dp/B00BPXESC2/ref=sr_1_2?s=instant-video&ie=UTF8&qid=1363793732&sr=1-2&keywords=The+Great+Kat

For more information on the Great Kat visit the hub of all Great Kat information:  http://www.greatkat.com

To visit the Great Kat store and purchase your very own autographed “Shredding Easter” photo go here:  http://www.greatkat.com/07/index07.html

And don’t forget to follow her on Facebook for immediate updates on all news here:  https://www.facebook.com/greatkatguitarshredder

REVIEW: IRON REAGAN - WORSE THAN DEAD

If the first image in your head after hearing the name Iron Reagan was the Gipper replacing Tony Stark and fighting crime in a mechanical war suit, you may not share the same political platform as this band. Worse Than Dead, the band’s first full-length, paints a portrait of Reagan the villain, sucking the blood from the poor and leaving their emaciated bodies rotting in gutters overflowing with urine and rat carcasses. Like all my favorite political music, the lines between punk, thrash and speed metal vanish in a blur of machine gun riffing and fiery rage burning hotter than a combusted Molotov. If your favorite Slayer album after Reign in Blood is Undisputed Attitude then carve an anarchy symbol on the closest police car and escape to listen to this album now.

With members of Municipal Waste and Suppression/Darkest Hour, this is a group of crossover renegades who know how to rock long hair and sweat bands while inspiring raised fists and violent resistance. From the shouted countdown kicking off “Drop the Gun” to the appropriate warning sirens of “Walking Out,” this is a furious, frenzied assault on the conservative elite. While speed is the name of the game this in no way sacrifices the creativity of the riffs, which branch off from thrash to include moments of hardcore stomp-and-start and ominous melody, as heard in “Pay Check.” There are also the guest vocals from Lock-Up’s Tomas Lindberg on “Snake Chopper” and the show-stealing (and hilariously titled) instrumental track “I Ripped That Testament A New Asshole” as examples of surprises available to listeners who think they’ve heard everything exceptionally fast metal had to offer.

I have heard the same complaint from fans reluctant to embrace a specific sub-genre over and over: All the songs sound the same. This is not specific to thrash, though I have heard increasing scrutiny of crust/d-beat bands that have “nothing new to offer.” One of the things that makes Worse Than Dead such a compelling listen is how contemporary it feels while still displaying inspiration and appreciation for the pioneers of hardcore punk. The old-school mid-gallop solo on “Midlothian Murder Mile” and the gang vocals driving “The Debt Collector” are sure to push original fans of D.R.I. and Gorilla Biscuits fans into the pit to share their veteran moshing experience with the younguns. This music is cross-generational, totally fresh and modern. Still, Iron Reagan would grab the nearest crowbar and smash bank windows side-by-side with the forefathers of thrash.

Regardless of political affiliation, if you like your riffs faster than a stock market crash and fueled by the meanest breeds of punk, Worse Than Dead is a gritty, catchy slice of crossover chaos your ears will gladly bleed for. Arm yourself with this album and prepare for the revolution.

Go check out Iron Reagan’s Facebook page over at:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/IRON-REAGAN

And grab a copy of their album from those lovely, mean bastards over at A389 here: http://www.a389records.com/site/releases/

REVIEW: BEHOLD! THE MONOLITH - DEFENDER, REDEEMIST

Behold! The Monolith’s self-titled debut boasts one of my favorite album covers: A strangely cuddly axe-wielding warrior creature, equal thirds silverback Gorilla/Sasquatch/Wookie, triumphantly rides an armored red-eyed war-stag, roaring his intent to shampoo his fur with the blood of his enemies. I have no idea what that creature is, but it means business and it’s totally bad ass. Behold! The Monolith’s music is similarly difficult to identify, but why even bother when it leaves such a fun, playful, and dynamic impression? 

Defender, Redeemist may not have a cuddly barbarian on the cover, but it does feature a knight-steered space griffin and possesses a sense of adventure that evades most doom-centric bands. Sure, there are long passages that grunt forward like a zombified snail, but there are also flashes of thrash, dusty southern rock licks, and splashes of blackened sound that texture the album start to finish. “Halv King” pummels with a Motorhead-by-way-of-prehistoric hardcore sneer and album highlight “We Are the Worm” finds the mysterious middle-ground between High on Fire and ZZ Top and dances in that neutral territory with half of an opponent’s bleached skull fastened as a jock strap. After some way-groovy, spaced-out ambience “Redeemist” launches into a doom jam that just starts to overstay its welcome when the trio stomps into new territory with bluesy swagger, their beards most definitely swinging to the tasty metal licks before some haunting clean finger-picking and fuzzed out vocals lead you down yet another twisted, hidden path. It’s an ambitious, tenacious song that captures Behold! The Monolith’s essence in one burly, schizophrenic track.

The album ends without the same success, with three straight tracks that seem to linger without momentum. “Cast On The Black​/​Lamentor​/​Guided By The Southern Cross” follows the same basic structure as “Redeemist” but adds three minutes of running time that feel unwarranted. Despite a fantastic, melancholy riff and accompanying solo to end the track the song soon fades into silence and I’m left searching unsuccessfully for what happened in the first ten minutes. “Bull Colossi” also lurches forward without much passion, capping off a truly promising album with three straight songs I’m unwilling to dedicate nearly half an hour to again. Kevin McDade’s vocals suggest his throat has been shredded from a lifetime of eating porcupine quills and wolverine teeth. They are tough, raw, and the exact ballsy tone to complement their sound, from sludgy romps to trigger-happy bursts of speed. I am usually a bass freak who would sneak to a sound board and crank it past deafening, but the bass here  absolutely dwarfs the guitar until the six-string chimes in with a clean tone.

Despite my less-than-lukewarm take on Defender, Redeemist’s second half I still think it’s worth a listen, especially for fans of slow-born doom that feel like the world needs more song titles like “The Battle for Balls Deep.” At its heart this is feisty, loud rock music that chews on a good riff  longer than its last bite of chaw, just with a serious volume addiction and a vocalist that could make an entire field of caribou suffer heart arrest from a single roar. This Los Angeles band is worth your attention, let me make that clear. You may listen to the last three songs and admire the solid foundation of doom and feel there’s enough experimentation to keep your interest, I just felt a drop in energy, which to me is a cardinal sin when the track has a killer name like “Witch Hunt Supreme.” Nothing energizes me like the slaughter of innocent women over religiously-motivated false pretenses, and that’s probably why I started this blog to begin with.

The band has impressively sold out all CDs but stream their music here:  http://beholdthemonolith.bandcamp.com/

And check out their website:  http://www.beholdthemonolith.com

REVIEW: THE GREAT KAT - BEETHOVEN SHREDS

Clocking in under 8 minutes, The Great Kat’s newest offering of Shred/Classical music, Beethoven Shreds, will smash your powdered wig to dust before you can say “Bloody Vivaldi.” The album includes thrashing compositions of timeless classical pieces, all played just below the speed of light. These songs would not make these long-dead composers turn in their graves, it would inspire them to stud their skeletons with pyramid spikes and mosh wildly.

For those of you ignorant of her grandeur, The Great Kat has been crushing slaves and devoted fans beneath the weight of her razor-sharp guitar virtuosity and stiletto-heeled boots since the mid-80s. After leaving the Juilliard School of Music and touring the world as a respected violinist The Great Kat decided to aim her talents at the world of extreme metal with one mission: To introduce dimwits previously unaware of the great classical geniuses to their masterworks through the seductive power of speed metal.

The seven tracks on Beethoven Shreds do not believe in taking time to smell the roses; each song slices the rose from its stem with a flaming guitar neck and kills everything in its path, rose clamped between its bared fangs, before one hundred seconds pass. The Great Kat has never had use for subtlety or wasting time. Consistently ranked as one of the fastest guitar players in the world, she has the technical chops to outduel any bloodthirsty immortal wielding a six-string. A flash of her finger calluses must make her most love-struck fans faint.

The highlight of the album, “Paganini’s Caprice #24,” offers the most diverse display of skill. She commands each tempo shift with precision and blistering intensity, burning the strings to ash on both her violin and guitar. It’s an astounding achievement that absolutely needs to be shared. The album also includes deranged versions of such staples as “Flight of the Bumblebee” and “Beethoven’s 5th Symphony” that will inspire a smile from even the stuffiest classical music elitist.

Of the two original tracks, “IslamoFascists” is the only one I felt compelled to listen to multiple times. It rages with great passion and showcases The Great Kat’s hoarse snarls. As heavy metal’s most famous Dominatrix, her other original song, “Torture Techniques,” felt like an ode to her enslaved fan base and will undeniably be playing in the background while some metalhead engages in auto-erotic asphyxiation.

This album may just be the sonic equivalent of that amazing Youtube video you feel compelled to show everyone, but that’s nothing to sneer at. To me, the worst kind of music is totally forgettable. The Great Kat takes familiar songs and beats them with chains, spits acid on them, and injects them with hellfire. I first heard her shred when I was battling acne in junior high, blasting Worship Me Or Die! in my shadowy bedroom in the attic, and I keep coming back to spread the gospel.

The Great Kat has been a polarizing figure in heavy metal, seemingly due to her extremely high regard for her own talent. At her core she is is a seriously talented artist with huge ideas and an undying devotion to self-promotion and her own awesomeness. Seriously, if the album cover doesn't convince you (as it resembles a late-night informercial ad) please read interviews. She claims to be a messiah and says Satan praises her, never the other way around, all while slamming per pinkie hard on her caps lock. Personally, I think modesty is overrated. It takes courage to be this much larger than life, and I’m glad she reanimated Beethoven’s corpse and taught him how to headbang.


You can find The Great Kat on iTunes and Spotify and you can learn everything you ever wanted to know about the grand Shred/Classical goddess here:http://www.greatkat.com/