READ MY SHIT: KUNG FU BREAKFAST #15 and #16

So, Mister Growl wasn’t updated for a while, and this is why: Writing assignments from Decibel Magazine, Kung Fu Breakfast, About.com Heavy Metal, and Girls & Corpses Magazine were all released in the last 2 weeks. Here are two issues of Kung Fu Breakfast with great material from their roster of inspired, unstable artists:

ISSUE #15 - THE STAR WARS CHRISTMAS REDUX

First of all, look at that amazing cover. That’s the sort of art that makes it easy to admit I was an obsessive Star Wars fan through about ninth grade, when I stumbled into Suffocation, Skinless, and Cannibal Corpse. I have a love sonnet written from the point of Salacious Crumb, Jabba’s cackling enslaved jester, along with a little drawing of the same character. There’s great stuff in this issue, especially for sci-fi fans. Does include nudity. Hopefully that makes you want to download it more.

You can download the issue for FREE here: http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/683205

ISSUE #16 - MOTHER RUSSIA

I was concerned I wouldn’t have much inspiration for this one (being an American with ties to only Scottish and Irish ancestry that are several generations past), but I wrote a story of the tragic life of a prison tattoo artist called “Ouroboros.” There’s a beautiful featured piece from Jess Towne, as well as superlative work from Jay Kantor, Caitlin Anne, and Robert Gullie, in his KFB debut. I must warn that there’s nudity and fetish photography included, because it bothers some people to be surprised by that stuff.

Download this issue for FREE here: http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/692113

UPDATE: READ MY STUFF

  Just a quick update on ways to read my work in print and in downloadable forms, comrades:

DECIBEL MAGAZINE - ISSUE #110

Page 36: Pyrexia - Feast of Iniquity profile. I talked with Chris Basile, founder of Pyrexia, when I hadn’t yet heard the whole new album, basing my opinions on one song. Finally got the full experience, and it’s a killer record. I have a lot of respect for these guys and I was bummed to hear their tour with Six Feet Under was just cancelled.

Page 86: Ringworm - Bleed review. Solid EP from these Cleveland hardcore titans, keeping things lean and mean with plenty of metallic punk and a Discharge cover. I gave it 7/10.

Go over here to subscribe to Decibel Magazine. At $29.95 for a whole year this is one of the biggest bargains out there. The writing staff is fantastic, the editors are awesome, and the design is sleek and filled with trippy illustrations. Definitely worth your money:  http://store.decibelmagazine.com/collections/subscriptions-renewals

GIRLS & CORPSES - VOL. 7 WINTER ISSUE

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROT - CARCASS, WATAIN, and EXHUMED. In the debut of my metal column for this brilliant, bizarro magazine, I interviewed Jeff Walker from Carcass, Erik Danielsson of Watain, and Matt Harvey of Exhumed, asking their thoughts on metal, sex, death, and the afterlife. I toss in reviews of their new albums and a few bad puns. I really need to thank the creator/deaditor in chief, Corpsy, for giving me a shot at this.

Pre-order this insane magazine now, as it ships December 1st. I promise there’s no better conversation-starter for your coffee table: http://www.girlsandcorpses.com/%5C/store/index.html

KUNG FU BREAKFAST - ISSUE #13

Page 37: “An Invisible Man Hypothetically Visits Wisconsin.” I dusted off an old piece of flash fiction and expanded the story with more sadness and perversion. It’s the one-year anniversary issue of Kung Fu Breakfast and has some amazing work from some of my favorite artists: Jay Kantor, Sean Whitman, Jessica Towne, Nate Eggert, and Kendra Lin.

Download the issue for FREE over at this link, just be warned that it has nudity and bad words and all the stuff that makes living worth all the fuss: http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/647037

JIU-JITSU BRUNCH - HALLOWEEN ISSUE

Hey art lovers! A Halloween-themed issue of Jiu-Jitsu Brunch (the Kung Fu Breakfast supplemental series) just launched, unleashing horrors of all varieties on those brave enough to download it for FREE. Despite my infatuation with the undead, I’ve never written a proper zombie story. UNTIL NOW. My short story, “Molly,” is the featured fiction piece in the issue, and has absurd humor and splatter and all the reanimated creatures you could want in a four-page story.

The issue also shares a gorgeous front/back cover from Caitlin Anne,as well as work from Mister Growl-favorites Brittany Bindrim, Jay Kantor, and Jessica Towne. Sam Guss chips in some twisted, sexy-as-sin photography, and Kendra Lin’s “Halloween processional” is beautiful and seductive.

You can download the issue here (WARNING: ADULT CONTENT): http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/646761

And check out Kung Fu Breakfast on Facebook. Like them, follow them, and comment on what pieces you enjoyed. It means a lot to the artists: https://www.facebook.com/KungFuBreakfast

KUNG FU BREAKFAST - ISSUE #9 - CAHIERS DU FETICHE

Hey perverts! It’s my birthday today so I’m gonna keep this delightfully short. Los Angeles-based DIY art zine Kung Fu Breakfast just released their ninth issue, this time focusing on fetish and the world of kink. My episodic short story “Killing Spree: A Love Story in Four Parts” was printed in the issue, heavily revised after I first wrote it 6 years ago with an added epilogue. My story is filled with thrill killing and blood-drenched sex, along with a soul-stabbing sense of existential gloom. If you read the transgressive works of the Marquis de Sade and Georges Bataille you might dig my little tale.

The issue also shares beautiful artwork from Kane Rors, Paul Ybarra (also responsible for the jarring cover), editor-in-chief Jay Kantor, and blog-favorites Brittany Bindrim and Caitlin Anne. Rachel Takiko’s featured piece “The Things I Didn’t Tell You” is absolutely worth your time, offering a very human experience with fetish and the person beneath the roleplay. It’s free to join Magcloud and download, so there’s really no excuse, unless you’re just way too busy reading about Kimye, and if that’s the case please drink this cocktail of bleach and Windex to the very last drop.

You can download the issue here (WARNING: ADULT CONTENT): http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/588667?__r=302373&s=w

And check out Kung Fu Breakfast on Facebook. Like them, follow them, and comment on what pieces you enjoyed. It means a lot to the artists: https://www.facebook.com/KungFuBreakfast

UPDATE: DECIBEL ASSIGNMENTS and COMING REVIEWS

Ramming Speed feels exactly how I feel.

Hey there, turkeys. It’s Decibel Magazine deadline time again, where I obsess over every word choice in my assignments before sending them over to the awesome editors who put up with my New York Mets rumors, dated film references, and crappy jokes. Just a quick update as a glimpse of what’s to come after this current wave of assignments is finished:

Decibel Magazine, issue #106: I had the chance to talk to the guys from Lesbian about their new 44 minute one-song album ForesTeleVision and write up a profile about mushrooms, lady space warriors, and the immensity of their sound. They’re really articulate dudes and the album is one of my favorites this year, definitely go check it out. I also wrote 2 reviews, bands to be named upon release of the issue.

Kung Fu Breakfast, issue #9: The next issue’s theme is “Cahiers du Fetiche,” including ruminations on fetish from KFB’s roster of madly talented artists. I dusted off an old prose poem from my first full book of poetry Lock the Doors, the Poet Feasts at Midnight and I am heavily revising it while adding an epilogue. Thrill killing and blood-soaked sex scenes, you know the drill.

Decibel Magazine, issue #107: Just interviewed Jonah, drummer of Ramming Speed, and will profile those Boston thrashers in the issue releasing at the end of July. Really nice guy with admirable positivity and energy. Can’t wait to see these guys come through Brooklyn with Valient Thorr and Gypsyhawk, their new album Doomed to Destroy, Destined to Die is a god damn game changer. I also have one review, band to be revealed upon release of the issue.

Kung Fu Breakfast, 4th of July side-issue: I’m also submitting a piece to a special holiday issue. The story is very seeeeeecret right now, mainly because I only have two paragraphs written. Expect my usual: Words, with occasional punctuation.

Mister Growl: Reviews on the way for a bunch of great bands, including, in no particular order: Unkind, Wilson, Black Sheep Wall, Coffins, and Noisem.

More to come soon! Catch ya later, goonies.

- Mister Growl

KUNG FU BREAKFAST ISSUE #7

Kung Fu Breakfast just released issue #7 yesterday, offering a twisted roster of artists all sharing work with the theme “Tales of the Internet.” It’s a wildly imaginative and deeply compelling collaborative effort, with artists from coast to coast exploring the horrors of the interwebz.

Also, check out that amazing cover art from Brittany Bindrim, who was FEATURED HERE on Mister Growl not long ago! Now you can see why I was foaming at the mouth in anticipation of this issue. There’s also great photography/poetry from editor/mastermind Jay Kantor, more beautiful artwork from Mister Growl-alum Caitlin Anne, experimental fiction from Jacob Hensen, and a supremely awesome bit of pitch-black tragic humor from Sean Whiteman I encourage everyone to check out. My own entry, “Kilobytes,” is the story of a remorseless internet scam artist descending into paranoia.

You can download the issue for FREE after signing up for a MagCloud account. It takes you two minutes, stop whining:  http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/557555

(It does include mature content, like profanity, disturbing images, and graphic nudity. If you’re like me that makes you want it even more.)

FICTION: VICIOUS LITTLE BONERS

Writer's note: The following short story was originally written for the Los Angeles-based DIY zine Kung Fu Breakfast. It's actually one of the reasons I moved forward with starting this blog, so for that I absolutely thank Jay Kantor, Editor in Chief over at KFB.

They sound like a band of serial murderers, crazed from late-stage syphilis, being flogged by a sleepless executioner with a cat o’ nine tales studded with crushed bong glass and the splintered, yellowed teeth of deceased meth-heads. And they play the best punk you’ve never heard.

Stitched together from the remains of three Midwestern crust bands, Vicious Little Boners is an underground supergroup designed by a perverted mad scientist to rip everything polite and sympathetic in this world to shreds. Their three song self-titled EP, hand-numbered and limited to 100 copies on red vinyl, is a blistering assault on subtlety, peace, and love that needs to be heard before you’re too old and jaded to recognize the art behind a song called “Catheter Juice.”

“Vicious Little Boners is the closest thing you can come to a soul abortion. You’ll never get our shirt at Hot Topic, never hear us in a car commercial. We play anti-music bred to incite violence and please no one. We’re not your friend and we barely tolerate each other,” spits VLB lead shrieker Trip McCaskill.

If you’ve been to a single punk show near Indianapolis in the past thirty years you’ve probably seen McCaskill at work in the mosh pit, whipping his arms like slinging weapons and kicking like there’s an endless procession of ribcages to cave in. He participates in our interview because I promise him a pack of cigarettes and even then looks like he might blast a bullet into my heart and vomit tarantulas into the hole. He wears the same leather vest he stitched at home as a teenager, a stained Discharge patch stretched shoulder to shoulder, smoke curling around spikes of black hair, stiff with Elmer’s glue. His face looks like he’s been hung from a gallows pole in the middle of a tornado and metallic debris carved their signatures as wrinkles and scars.

“I’ve been in about forty-three bands through the years, and most played a single show and just farted their way into obscurity,” McCaskill recounts. “I can easily say that VLB is the most intense, and personal, music I have ever helped create.”

Lead guitarist Elvis R. Coswell agrees. “Trip really stepped up to the plate with his lyrics on this album,” he says while flossing dollar pizza from his teeth with a guitar string. “You look at a song like “Jizz Biscuit” and just think to yourself, man, is this guy in my head or what?”

“Jizz Biscuit” describes the diet of a self-enslaved male servant who personally cleans the rectum of a high-ranking politician and eagerly awaits the “spunky” reward for his loyalty. Discussing the song seems to upset Trip, who puts his cigarette out on his thumbnail and leans forward to clarify their purpose.

“I was hesitant to put that song on the record, because when people think punk they think anti-government, anti-establishment, etcetera. I’m anti-everything. There’s this great moment in the old Brando movie The Wild One where some douche asks him, “What are you rebelling against?” And Brando sizes him up and shoots back, “What d’ya got?” The future for humanity is bleak and whatever idea you have about making the world a better place for your shitty kids to grow up in, it won’t work.”

The first time I listened to this album I felt like I was punch-drunk and close to puking. The band lacks a bass player and the treble on the guitar is at just the right register to cut its way into your stomach and thrash wildly about until nausea rages in. After multiple listens, with frothy puke bubbling at the top of my throat, I realized that listening to the album on loop was desensitizing me to the bludgeoning nature of the music. Vicious Little Boners were preparing me for the harshness of the world.

After the interview, Coswell and their silent drummer shook my hand and gave me free stickers. McCaskill stomped by me without a word, heading into the light mist of rain that had started to fall on the parking lot where his station wagon moped with the front tire duct-taped multiple times.

It would likely enrage him to hear it, but apart from giving us the most blistering punk album in recent history, I also think McCaskill and the Vicious Little Boners are less withdrawn from humanity than they claim. If humanity is not worth time, if life is such a smear of blood-clotted shit, why share your reflections on life with those humans through one of the oldest forms of art in existence? Neanderthals may have crushed each other’s skulls for the last mammoth steak at the dining table, but they also played music with drums and rattles crafted from skin and bone in communal celebration. To record music and share it, even with a modest hundred albums in circulation, lends importance to the listener and even makes them an accomplice.

Before the interview, and after negotiating for the cigarettes, Trip was explaining the origins of his scars proudly, but without ever making eye contact. “That’s from a Michigan rumble. Venue owner promised an open bar and cut us off after one well drink each. Fuckin’ cheapskate. That’s from fixing the ol’ Taurus. Word from the wise, don’t try to change a tire in pitch-blackness when you’ve just huffed gasoline for an hour and a half.”

Just like a Neanderthal leader may sport the most scars, proof of battles survived and enemies conquered, Trip is a breathing, screaming reminder of hardship and adversity. He may not be the classic mentor, a wise monk with his seasoned philosophies listed in scrolls and leather-bound manuscripts, but he’s the closest thing punk music has.

He unbuttons his studded vest to show off his only tattoo: A solid black circle about the size of the nickel next to his clavicle.

“When I first got it I was inspired by the black spot from Treasure Island, like I had been marked by death. But every few years I get to change what it is, what it means. Right now I look at it as the period at the end of a sentence. The last thing you read before it’s all over.”

His band mates slithered into the back of his Ford Taurus and slammed the doors shut. The plastic wrapper from Trip’s pack of cigarettes uncoiled slowly next to a steaming ashtray. Before peeling off into the rain Trip lifted a hand to wave goodbye and flashed a warm, yellow smirk.

 - By Sean Frasier

This story first appeared in Kung Fu Breakfast, Issue #3:. All issues of this awesome DIY zine are available for FREE here: http://kungfubreakfast.magcloud.com/

And like the zine here, they have an amazing roster of talent and were polite enough to let me mingle: https://www.facebook.com/KungFuBreakfast